The Perils of Couscous
by caromac
Summary: Strange, fluffy one-shot in which the Doctor and Rose watch television.


Title: The Perils of Couscous

Characters: Doctor, Rose

Pairing: Doctor & Rose

Rating: PG

Spoilers: None really.

Summary: Strange, fluffy one-shot in which the Doctor and Rose watch television.

Disclaimer: All belongs to the Beeb.

Author's Notes: I _cannot _stop them coming. Apologies if this is a bit lame but again it somehow came to be written. I'm sorry. I really am. Cross posted to under username "caromac."

Reviews are nice.

Word Count: 1446

The Tardis - being bigger on the inside - had an infinite number of rooms at it's disposal. There could have been hundreds connected by winding corridors, and the contents of each and every one were unknown even to the Doctor. Of course at that moment in time the alien in question was in the largest and most frequently occupied of all the nooks and crannies of the Tardis; the console room.

Lain on his back beneath the console the Doctor was happily tinkering away with his beautiful machine, as he liked to do so during the rare - but not always unwelcome - lulls. It was only when the Doctor had reached the second verse of "Bear Necessities" and no-one had told him to shut up or had thrown anything at his head that the Doctor realised he was on in his own. And springing to his feet he decided he rather fancied talking to Rose for a bit.

_Because _of the Tardis' infinite number of rooms it was often quite hard to find someone unless you knew exactly where they were, which often wasn't the case with Rose. And sometimes even if you did know what room you were looking for, if the ship wasn't in a particularly good mood then you could easily spend up to 2 hours walking to the bathroom down the hall.

Fortunately the Tardis had always taken a shine to Rose - increased in strength tenfold after the Bad Wolf incident - so within 20 yards the Doctor found himself in the doorway of room in which the - surprisingly only_ - _television on board was kept. Barring the console monitor, but there were usually so many post-its tacked haphazardly over that, that it made it difficult to see anything but half the screen.

As the room's occupant wasn't yet aware of his presence, the Doctor leaned against the doorframe for a moment to observe her. Rose was seated on the couch, remote in hand, flicking through the channels with a look of a grim determination about her. There was a mug on the armrest and a bowl of buttery couscous ( Rose had always had strange comfort food choices ) next to her on the couch seat.

" Evening." said the Doctor genially, announcing his presence.

Rose glanced minutely to the door and back to the television.

" Is it?" she replied distractedly.

" Well it's all relative" said the Doctor as he plonked himself down on the couch seat next to Rose, licking a finger and dipping it in her couscous without her noticing. " What are we watching?"

" Nothing so far", Rose's remote hand went limp in exasperation. " You'd think being a mighty time lord and all that you could go to the effort of at least getting a Skybox, all I can find on here is Eastenders repeats and a documentary on dung beetles. You need more channels. "

Rose turned and pinned down the Doctor with a pointed look, but her arch eyebrow and small smile told him she wasn't really mad.

" More quantity doesn't mean better quality Rose", he sing-songed. " Besides I don't use Sky on principle, not since that incident with Rupert Murdoch a few years back. " The Doctor pulled a face. " _Yeesh, _that was one angry tycoon."

Rose turned and looked at the Doctor inquisitively, now more interested in him.

" Oh yeah, what happened then?"

The Doctor scratched his stubble in consideration.

" Well I don't like to relate all the sordid details - "

Rose scoffed.

" - but there may have been some name calling … and some _beard tweaking. _"

" You tweaked his beard?!"

" I thought he was an alien in disguise! Besides he looked shifty. "

Rose shook her head fondly and turned back to the television screen.

" Not gonna argue you on that one … but we still have nothing to watch. "

" Ah but Ms Tyler, it is then moments like these that the beauty of digital versatile disc can be truly appreciated. "

The Doctor sprung up off of the couch and strode across the room to a cabinet and flung it's doors open, revealing stacks upon stacks of freshly packaged DVD's.

" You have a DVD collection you never told me about?"

" Hey at least it's better than a crazy wife in the attic I never told you about. "

Rose also stood and made her way over to the cabinet, crouching down to inspect it's contents whilst the Doctor stood beside her.

" You seem to have a lot of Miss Marple. " she observed.

" Agatha Christie. Genius of a woman." sighed the Doctor from above her head.

Rose looked up at him teasingly.

" What about Inspector Frost? You covered both branches of the crime meets paediatrics genre?"

" Ah no, not for me Rose. There is a fine distinction. "

" What, so you're strictly a tweed and bonnets kinda guy?"

" Look who's talking, Miss Period Drama. "

" What are _you _talking about? I don't like period telly. "

" You certainly enjoyed getting dressed up for that regency ball we visited last week. "

" That's different though. Living it and watching it on television aren't quite the same thing. "

" Ooh! You wanna know what's really fun?" said the Doctor crouching down too and bobbing next to Rose excitedly.

" What?" asked Rose, trepidation in her voice at the sound of the Doctor's enthusiasm.

" Getting a bit tipsy, whacking on a few Stargate SG-I DVD's and laughing at how wrong your lot got it all."

" No."

" Aaw, why not? Me and Jack used to do it all the time. "

" Because I never get what you're laughing at and about 2 pints in "my lot" become a race of " silly apes" that you love to poke fun at. "

" Fondly. "

" _No _Doctor. "

" Ok then … how about something funny? Seinfeld? Bit of Frasier? Black Books, uh got some Fawlty Towers here somewhere … "

" F.R.I.E.N.D.S.?" asked Rose holding up a purple Boxset.

" Only Seasons 1 to 6, all went downhill after the Monica/Chandler hook up. "

" Really? I always thought they were kind of sweet - up until Season 10 when Monica started to go all crazy. Or at least more crazy than before. "

" Huh - you should have seen her in the 2010 TV movie; she was like a suburban neo-Nazi. "

Rose sighed.

"There's some things that should just be left to lie. "

* * *

20 minutes later the Doctor and Rose were halfway through The One Without the Ski Trip when the Doctor let out a heavy - if not entirely genuine - sigh.

Rose looked up at him by turning her head. A tricky feat as it was currently placed in his lap.

" What?"

The Doctor shook his head mournfully.

" If my race could see me now … "

What they would have seen was Rose draped across the couch, top half leant against the Doctor and feet propped up on the armrest, dressed entirely in her spotty shirt and trouser pyjamas. The couscous was all gone; except for what was smattered across the front of the Doctor's suit.

And the Doctor had taken off his converses so the Winnie the Pooh socks that Rose had leant him 3 weeks ago were on proud display.

Rose grinned and turned back to watch the television.

" What, would you have to fall on your samurai sword?"

" No of course not Rose, don't be silly. " the Doctor reprimanded, before a pause fell into place.

" We had laser guns. "

" Ok _now _you're making this up. "

The Doctor grinned evilly and bent down so his face was hovering inches away from Rose's.

" Or am I? You'll never know. "

Whether it was his proximity to her, or the fact that he smelt really, _really _good Rose didn't know, she simply fell silent. The grin slipped off the Doctor's face too, and was replaced by something more … _tender_, an expression that rarely came out and when it did made Rose's toes curl in her shoes. Silently she thanked _someone _that she was wearing slipper socks.

The Doctor opened his mouth to do … well she didn't know what he was going to do but she waited with bated breath. His eyes flickered slightly, and he stared her straight in the eye and said;

" You have couscous in your hair. "

Fin.


End file.
